Currently Chasing: Blast from the Past - Fuck with Manners!

*Originally posted in January*

So last night I'm in bed, which is usually where I am at night. Around 2 a.m. I begin hearing some commotion. At first I think it is someone knocking on my neighbor’s door, but then I realize it is actually her knocking on my bedroom wall - with her fucking headboard!

Now don't get my wrong. I'm all for loud superhero sex that leaves you too tired to even bother getting up to pee (which I don't recommend due to the agonizing bladder infections that can usually occur after such an episode) but geez!

I mean honest to blog, it's a Monday night! Seriously? I could hear her moaning and groaning and I mean, let's be honest, was it THAT good? Anyway, everything died down around 3:30. And then out of nowhere, like something out of an old batman mini-series...

Bam! Boom! Clap! Superslut strikes again. Headboard and all. I enjoy having sex as much as the next person, but I don't feel the need to make it a neighborhood main event. This chick was all over the damn place. And from the intensity of round two, I can only imagine there was a player three. I could smell the herpes from my bed.

These walls are paper thin, and the last thing I want my 6-year-old hearing is someone's massacre next door.

And what ever happened to good ol' fashioned making love. Where people kissed and whispered little nothings and weren't getting mock raped? I mean this guy was stabbing her with his pork sword so hard I thought they were going to fly right through the fucking wall.

I mean, what is wrong with fucking between the hours of 8-11 pm. Or fuck all day while I'm at work. Or fuck in the morning while I'm taking a shower. But don't fuck in the middle of my beauty sleep. Don't fuck so loud it wakes me from a coma. Don't fuck before my alarm goes off. Fuck with manners.