The staff at the McDonalds by my house must actually have a running bet about who can fuck up the most. Start with the fact that the drive through runs through the parking lot. So if you park when it's busy you are basically fucked because the drive thru cars will block you without guilt for the entire rush hour.
If you decide to take what seems like the lesser of two evils (the actual drive thru) then be prepared. The credit card machine is never working. But they don't tell you that until you are actually placing your order. When you order sweet tea, the screen reflects unsweet tea. When you confirm that it is sweet tea, they say yes like you are a dumb ass, but it never fails ... when you take a drink, that shitty tea is missing one thing. THE SWEET!No matter how many times I order an egg mcmuffin with no cheese, I always get cheese. When I order my daughter a cheeseburger with extra pickles, I get chicken nuggets, and when I order a diet coke I always get a bottle of water. It gets worse. At the first window, where they take your money, there is a sign advertising a military discount, but I've been told twice that I can't get the discount unless I mention it at the time of the order. But the sign is by the window where I pay... after paying for the order, I pull up to the second window, and that person always looks like they are trying to make up for everyone else's incompetance.
They lean out the window with head shaking like, can you believe these clowns. Then they ask you matter of factly...so what exactly did you order. At that point you can say whatever you want. "I ordered a big mac, large fries and a diet coke." That person will look confused as they look around for your stuff, like it should magically appear. Then they will yell to the back, hey, why is there a quarter pounder up here, she ordered a big mac. No, not a big and tasty, a big mac!
Right after that exchange they hand you a bag with a reassuring look and, of course, a filet o' fish and an apple pie. WHAT THE FUCK? You would think I would just stop going there, but truth is, I hold out hope that no one can fuck up 100 percent of the time. And I'm proven wrong 100 percent of the time. Minimum wage just went up ... Do your damn job.
The baskin Robbins by my house is not much better. They never have any of the items they advertise. Typical Conversation.
Me: I'll have a banana split.
BR: We are out of bananas.
Me: Ok, how about a Heath bar crunch.
BR: We are out of Heath bars.
Me: Wow, ok, uh, can I get a scoopy of Cotton Candy ice cream.
BR: That is no longer available.
Me: It's on the menu.
BR: Uh, yeah.
Me: Can I get a strawberry banana shake.
BR: We still don't have bananas.
Me: Give me a scoop of Vanilla.
BR: Great, will that be all?
Me: Do I have a fucking option? Maybe really spice it up with another scoop of Vanilla?
There are tons of these examples. I'm sure you are chasing something similiar...tell me about it! we can bitch and moan and do nothing about it together.
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Wow! Can I relate to this.
ReplyDeleteNot to long ago I took a trip from California to Maryland to visit my Daughter, and while I was there I stopped by the local Taco Bell. All I wanted was an all meat burrito with green sauce. The conversation went something like this:
Me: Yes could I get an all meat burrito with green sauce. And a Med. Drink.
TB: (yelling to the back) I need an all beef burrito with guacamole.
Me: Ah..excuss me. Did you say guacamole?
TB: Yeah.
Me: I don’t want guacamole.
TB: (to the back) Never mind the guacamole. Just a regular beef burrito.
Me: Not quite a regular, I would still like the green sauce.
TB: Looking at me dump-founded. (Yelling to the back) put guacamole on that all beef.
Me: Hold it…No guacamole just green sauce.
TB: That is green sauce.
Me: Guacamole isn’t a sauce it’s a freekin dip.
TB: What do you consider green sauce.
Me: Well it would kind of resemble red sauce…only green!
By that time the manager came out and informed me that he had heard of green sauce, and that he believed some Taco Bells carried it, but that this particular Taco Bell did not. I gave in and settled for an all meat burrito hold the guacamole. I turned to the customer next to me and said
“Can you believe that? A place selling Mexican food that doesn’t have green sauce?
He looked at me with a bit of a blank look on his face and said
“Green sauce?….What’s green sauce?”
Great Blog. Funny stuff. Keep up the good work.
Love ya
Dad