Currently Chasing: The Go sign

So I’ve ranted and raved a lot about men since starting this blog. And even before. And mostly I’ve ranted and raved about one guy in particular over and over throughout the years. He has been on and off of my good side for almost five years. He’s cheated. He’s lied. He’s been a total asshole. In fact, he wouldn’t even leave his golf clubs at my house when he went to Iraq because he was that confident we would break up while he was over there and he was afraid I might…I don’t know…do something CRAZY. However, he’s also been my savior more times than I can count…and I need to know, is it ok to love him again?
Now, before we go into the most recent bailout he’s provided, let me just say that I know he will never change. Men spend their lives staying exactly the same and women spend their lives changing their hair, clothes, style, friends, makeup and minds. I get it. I’m constantly different, and he’s forever unchanged. But is it possible that I’ve finally changed into that person that can accept the fact that he never will?
Let me give you the background and then let’s figure this out together.
I’m in Afghanistan. Most of you know that if you’ve been following my adventures for any length of time. My first leg of the trip was spent in Gulfport and during that time the unthinkable happened. My tenant was doing laundry and the wash cycle never turned off. Water spilled out for a few hours causing my condo (and the condos of two of my neighbors) to encounter plenty of expensive and inconvenient water damage. She freaked. I freaked. And thus efforts began on her part and my part to get the situation rectified. A restoration company came in and tore up the floors and baseboards. Fans were put in to dry the carpets. People ran in and out of the house for days causing nothing but more mess and more pain and suffering for my girl living there. It was a nightmare. For a month no amount of phone calls from her or I could get answers from anyone on when the work would start or finish or how much the damage was going to cost.
So I called my on again, off again man, (the same one I’ve vowed at least 10 times to never speak to again) and explained the situation. He told me to send him a power of attorney – and so I did. I may not be able to trust him to be faithful, but I fully believe I can trust him with my house. I can also trust him with my daughter. For a week while I was away for work he made sure she got to school and back every day … hair done and everything. And she was fed. That’s more than most men can do with their own kids. So back to the story.
He received the power of attorney and went right to work. Within two weeks he had my house back to new. He even made them redo the carpeting because he wasn’t happy with the way it turned out. The light was flickering and he paid them to fix it while they were fixing everything else. The table behind my couch was broken and he was sure they caused the damage (even though they didn’t…I broke it trying to build it initially) so he had them come back and fix it. He made sure they left with my place looking better than it did before the flood. The TV in the living room had also went out, so he switched it out with another TV in another room and that was just one more thing she and I didn’t have to think about.
When my tenant had other problems with the toilet, bathtub and washer … he went over and took care of the problems. When she notified him that my tags were expired on my car and the condo management was going to have it towed, he offered to move it to his house. He had me send him another power of attorney so he could get the tags renewed for me.
And so I ask again, can I love him? Yes, he cheated. Yes, he lied. Yes, he’d sometimes rather play call of duty than sleep with me. But when I need him, he’s always there. And when my life seems to be falling apart, he helps piece it together. And when I think back on my life, he’s always been a staple. And recently he told me I could have power of attorney over his golf clubs. I’m pretty sure that’s as close to a marriage proposal as I’ll get. And maybe it’s all I need.