Currently Chasing: Ice Cream Cake

So I’ve been, like always, working out and trying to lose weight. I can lose my ID and my room key daily, but I can’t lose weight to ‘literally’ save my life.

I got a hair cut the other day … It will look great in a couple of weeks when it has grown out a little. And I ordered a pink hoodie and am trying to get permission to wear it with my PT gear. And I got to thinking … why am I cutting my hair? Why do I wake up every day and apply eye makeup? Why do I want to wear a pink hoodie instead of my blue Navy hoodie? Why do I care if I weigh a couple of more pounds than I should. Who cares? Other women, that’s who.

Women do not dress up or care about their appearance to attract men. I mean, in this place I could look like a lagoon creature and still land a man. And for the most part we don’t dress up and care about our appearance for ourselves. (and I’m not talking basic grooming here.) Because for the most part, we should be happy with ourselves, as we are. Naked and with no makeup. We all truly accept ourselves EXACTLY the way we are right? Of course we do. So, if we are happy with ourselves just the way God made us, and men will like us even if we barely resemble a women, then why do we go out of our way, even in a war zone to be ‘pretty.’ Because other women are looking, that’s why.

The other day a girl walked out of the bathroom and didn’t wash her hands. Immediately we were all aware of the situation and thinking to ourselves…good GAWD, what is her problem? We didn’t want her to wash her hands for her, we wanted her to wash her hands for US!

I worked out the other day. I knew I didn’t have much time before I needed to get back to the office, and I probably wouldn’t have enough time to shower. It wasn’t a hard workout, and I didn’t sweat much. But I still felt ‘guilty’ for not having enough time to shower. Finally my roommate says, oh good Lord, you don’t have time, it’s no big deal. I won’t tell. And that’s all I needed to hear. (although I just told on myself.) I wasn’t going to take a shower for me. I was going to take a shower for HER. The minute I knew she wasn’t going to judge me, I was dressed and out the door.

When we look at magazines with celebrities and they are on the worst dressed list … it’s probably because they tried for once to dress for themselves. No makeup. Shit that doesn’t match … who cares right? They were happy with themselves. But being happy with yourself is overrated. The world needs to be happy with us or we get slaughtered.

Just like my Canadian friend said, “When you walk into a room, the room doesn’t come to a stand still because of your personality. You’ve got to wow them with your looks…and if you are wowing the women, then the men are putty in your hands.

Men however have more leeway. They can be slightly overweight. They can be going gray and they can even be very average looking. None of that matters if they have the one thing women are most attracted to. Power. Is your man someone? Do people look up to him? Does he fit in well with any group of people? Is he successful? Is he confident? Do people answer to him? Can he make you feel safe? Is he a provider? I can handle a fat ass if I tell myself that he’s not fat, he’s just ‘protective.’

We want to feel safe. And the more confident, successful and powerful your man is, the leaner, prettier and sexier you need to be. Not because he needs you to be, but because other women need you to be. If they think they are prettier, they will take a chance. How many times have you heard …

“He cheated on you with who? She’s not even attractive.”

Or you’ve heard a guy say

“Why is she with him? He’s not even that attractive.”

It’s because women are obsessed with looking better than other women…and most men don’t understand that going to the gym for a hundred hours isn’t going to make them a better father.

I guess what I’m trying to say is … I wanted ice cream cake earlier today, but I also found out that a friend of mine is seven pounds thinner than I am. And we can’t have that now, can we? … Either we are both fat, or no one is.