Currently Chasing: More Time

Today I had to make a zillion appointments. Dental/vision/pap smear/B service for my car … just everything. I guess things have been slipping a bit. My gingivitis and windshield wiper fluid is only the half of it.

I am selling a lot of my jewelry and clothes online. I have too many things. And when your mom is sick, you start to look at things differently. I need to pay off my debt. I don’t want my daughter to have to think about any of that when my time comes. I don’t want her looking around at all this bullshit I’ve bought and thinking it mattered more to me than she did.

And I have to go to these fucking appointments. Because I need to make sure I’m healthy. And damn it, the light won’t go off for the fucking windshield wiper fluid. And I need gas.

I’ve already done my taxes. But the money is already spent. HHgregg is getting a lot of it because of the washer/dryer/stove/fridge/dish washer we bought when we moved into the new house. Not that there was anything wrong with the old stuff…it worked. But it was all different brands. A whirlpool fridge with a GE microwave and a Kenmore dishwasher. Who can fucking live like that? I need to get it paid before the 0% interest deal is up. And this is my life. I refinanced my car and it will save me $10. And my condo wants to start charging people to move in and move out. Can you imagine? As if the $205 a month in HOA fees isn’t enough.  And they also want to Ban hard wood floors because of the noise..?? WTF? What about people with allergies who sneeze all day because of the dust that gets in the carpet?

And they want to get Fios. I’m not against that. But I am against the ban on hard wood. And they want to start an electronic newsletter. Why are they asking for permission for that? It’s a newsletter. It’s not like it’s a pirate radio station or an underground railroad. Fucking do your newsletter. But don’t BAN MY FUCKING HARD WOOD. Not that I have them. But I want them! And I especially want them now that someone told me I couldn’t have them.  However, I don’t have the money to install them if it does turn out that they are going to continue to let them be installed, so none of it really matters. Except that it’s my fucking house! Well, I mean, I have a renter in there right now, so right now it is her house, but honestly! And it doesn’t even have assigned parking. 1500 a month plus 205 for HOA fees and no assigned parking. This is why they do not want people to own guns.

I also need to make an appointment to get my bathroom remodeled. Or not totally remodeled, but just a slight makeover until I get another tax return, or until I sell all of my shit on Ebay.  There is always so much to do. And then sometimes I think we are all just pieces in a big doll house and some giant alien girl is just moving us all around like on some really creepy twilight zone episode, and it makes me sad. And it makes me think…why does it all matter. We just die in the end. Even if our appliances are old and out of date. No matter if we have hard wood or carpet. Dental appointment or not. Pap smear or not. Windshield wiper fluid or not. Death is inevitable.

Time Flies people. It fucking flies.