5 People you HAVE to meet before you die

(Original Post: November 6, 2005 - Sunday)

1. Crazy Mike. A guy at the local Karaoke joint who plays air guitar. He rocks the house on the daily. He plays his knee, his shirt, a straw. He's the best fucking air guitar player I've ever seen. He sings too. Not good. I guess he's banking on the air guitar to get him in with the ladies. Air guitar is always a great skill to fall back on.
2. A chick named Catherine. Every Catherine I've met, heard of, or read about, is a freak of some sort. Not Cathy, Caterina, Kit-Kat, Cat, Kate, Katie. None of them will do. Meet a fucking Catherine, who goes by Catherine (with a "C"), and get ready to be blown away. A Catherine is not easy to come by, but she is once, twice, three times a fucking lady on the streets, with enough freakiness in the sheets to make you wanna scream, "Yes. I do wish my girlfriend was a freak like you." I'm reading a book called, "The sexual life of Catherine O." She is into group orgies. I'm serious, don't pass up the opportunity to spend time with a Catherine.
3. Your alter ego. I met mine eight years ago on a Friday. Her name is Catherine. I've been living as her, under an alias for eight years now. It's too much stress living as a publicly named Catherine. Refer to #2.
4. A BAMF. A bad ass mother fucker who kicks total ass. Be prepared, he/she will beat the fuck out of you. But you'll enjoy it, ask for it, remember it, crave it, keep it locked inside your cerebellum, maybe even love yourself later, while recalling the experience. It's ok. You are not strange. You are just making the rounds before you die.
5. Dane Cook.