Arrested Development

(Original Post: December 8, 2005 - Thursday)

What in the hell were they thinking with that Tennessee song? I've been here for a week and I've found nothing to sing about.
Went to a bar called Donnie Joes. Never trust a bar with two first names. I ordered the healthiest thing on the menu and it was 2,308 fucking calories. I should have had the burger. But NOT the quarter pounder. According to the waitress they do not serve a quarter pounder. However, they do serve a 1/4 lb Cheeseburger. If I wanted to have that, cool, but please ma'am, do not order items not on the menu. I guess in Tennesse 1/4 pound is not a quarter pound. Please excuse my education.
Last night I drove 45 minutes to eat at Ruby Tuesdays. Somebody kill me.
I'm taking a fitness course. I've learned 65 different warm up routines. I've also learned there are quite a few people in the world that can run faster than me, but at least one that cannot. YES!
I have to pee right now, but I refuse to get up. It's the first time I've found a computer in a week, so I'm not getting up till I'm done. There are people waiting. They want to get on the computer. Fuck, I have to pee. Don't think about it. Don't think about it. I can't even complete a thought. I should go to subway for, FUCK I HAVE TO PEE. See, no complete thought syndrome. (My friend sweetie, you are the only one who gets that and I love you for it.)
Oh yeah, did I mention I'm in Tennessee. Am I spelling that right? Are there two E's? And then ask me if I care. I don't. Ok, fuck, I do care. Are there two E's?
Plane ride was normal. No husband trying to pass me a note. I read a book. The infidelity diet. Three overweight men, three desperate wives, one bad plan.
Wives promising husbands a prostitute if they lose weight. My friend told me her hubby is going to pay her 10 bucks a pound and buy her boobs at the completion of her goal. My goodness, where can I find a man like that? 10 bucks a pound? I'd be the skinniest bitch ever. I have to pee. That's 10 bucks right there.