Concerts and Santa

(Original Post: December 16, 2005 - Friday)

Last night My friend took me to a concert for Christmas. Alanis!! Happy Birthday Jesus. We got there an hour early to get good seats. And good seats we got. One problem, good seats are only good if the people in front of you are members of the lollypop guild. Instead we had what appeared to be the sister of the guy that found himself all strapped down to the ground one morning and a bunch of little people all around him ... the name escapes me. First person to comment with his name gets credit for teaching me something.
Anyway. Where was I. Oh yeah. So I lean over and say, excuse me ma'am. Are you going to stand right there? And she answers calmly, "Yes." And I say, are you kidding me? And she said calmly, "No." And I say, we got here early, and she said, "So did we." And I say what time, and she said, "What time did you get here?" And I said 7 and she said, "Yep, we got here at that time." And I said, no you didn't because there was no one here at 7 and you could have gotten a way better spot than the one right in front of my eyeballs. "And she said, "Maybe you've never been here before, but this is how it is, it's a packed house. You can't move a crowd." Then she made this little noise that sounded like she was letting air out of her big dumb head, and then she said something to her friend like, bla bla bla, 7 and bla bla bla packed house, and bla bla bla move a crowd. Good lord sister of the giant peach, you don't have to be rude. Skank whore. I hope you slip on a drink. Is that OTT? Over the top. Come on, get with the Acro's.
So Alanis comes on and sings that hidden track on her first album. The one about the salt in your bed. The one with no musical background. The one that just showcases her amazing voice and her awesome abilities. My goodness. Worth getting the third degree from sasquatch? Yes.
She sang them all. All the hits. Lots of lesbians around. They probably thought My friend and I were together. Although she only touched me once all night and that was to tell me to move my head so she could see. Why a bunch of lesbians you ask? Well, check out her newest video. She re-did the Seal classic Crazy. Watch it, and stop asking stupid questions.
She's engaged to Ryan Reynolds. That little fun fact won me a T-shirt.
Off the subject, I picked up my daughter today and her teacher told me they saw Santa. Then she said My daughter did not want to see Santa. So I asked My daughter why she didn't want to see Santa. She said, Mom, Santa was brown. That is not the real Santa. I'm not sure how to take that, or explain that to her, but I do know this. You would not hire Eminem to play Tupac in a movie. I know there was a debate with the true color/race of Jesus, but I didn't know the bedlam had spread to the North Pole.