Italian Surfer On Acid

(Original Post: June 24, 2006 - Saturday)

It's a drink. And it sneaks up on you. Who knows what is in it. Every time they brought it out to us it looked a different color. But all tasted like flavored sugar. And if you know me, you know those sugar drinks are like candy. Who knows how many we actually had. Judging from how I feel this morning. A few too many for sure.
The band: Old. One bald guy, one balding guy, and one with a mysterious bandana. Perhaps to hide some balding. I don't know what they called themselves, but at one point a woman got up and started singing with them. She was just yelling into the mic and doing some Napoleon Dynamite moves. I may have thought that was cool, if I had thought for a second that she actually saw the movie. My gut told me, these were just seriously her moves.
Then they sang Pictures by Sheryl Crow and Kid Rock. Yawn....I've heard better at Karaoke. The first waitress we had rocked. Her name was Kristin and she looked like Nicole Eggert from Charles in Charge...or for you younger crowd ... Baywatch? Anyfuck, the only problem with her is that she was lazy. She would disappear forever. And in her absence this little blonde bitch would come up to us annoyed and ask if there was anything we wanted. Yes, we want you to choke yourself. Geez. Get us the bananas Angel.
So we get a round of drinks from some "Hawaiian shirt guy" at the bar. I learned a while back, the way to handle that is to just send a drink over to him to say thanks. No need to go over, start a conversation, pretend to really like the pattern of his Hawaiian shirt. He came over anyway, but didn't stay long and didn't say much. Saved.
"Brian" asked us to play pool. Nobody wanted to play pool with Brian. "Drunk Guy" came over and whisper-spit all over us. Goodness. It was horrible. He kept asking us to dance and talking about the band and saying they were pretty good. No surprise this guy was balding as well. At one point I said fuck it, and I danced with him. To Pictures no less. And it was horrible. And I did the running man. And he did not realize it was a joke. And I think he even backed up to give me room to show my stuff. That song could not have ended fast enough.
We tried the four-second eye contact thing. We heard somewhere that you should try to make eye contact with people you are interested in. You should hold that eye contact for four seconds. Do you know how long four seconds is when you are staring at someone in their face? My friend said, it's just enough time to let them know you are into them. Stephanie said, It's a damn Marriage Proposal! And I'm inclined to agree.
There was a girl there who had "skinny girl syndrome." We know those girls. They used to be really thin. They got into a comfortable relationship and gained a few (20) pounds, and still squeeze into those outfits. She stood the entire time. No surprise there!