It's better than sex

(Original Post: June 10, 2006 - Saturday)

Alright. So I've been dating someone, so having sex with someone else has been a little out of the question lately. I mean, normally, (and for those of you who know me, you know this is true) being faithful hasn't really been a hobby. I mean, it's overrated really.
And ... California does not recognize it. It is just a way of life for the beach goers. In Cali we are not so delusional to think that one person can provide all of our 'partying gifts.' The state doesn't even list it as a reason for divorce anymore. It just happens. And that's the way it is. But I've been living on the east coast for awhile, and check it out ... it's kind of a deal over here. Not a huge deal, but definitely a deal. Like, hey, let's not get a bunch of STD's by sleeping around ok? Deal.
So what do I do with all these 'friends' of mine who claim to be platonic? I can't pretend that I don't know where all of their good intentions will lead? So that's when I came up with an idea. FOOT MASSAGES! Hear me out. I know some people consider these to be somewhat sexual. (we can thank pulp fiction for that.) But really it is just a great way to relax. All your nerves end in your feet so it just feels really good to have someone who knows what they are doing, working those balls. On your feet! Damn people, stay focused. I have an appointment to get a massage today. I've resorted to paying for it. I'm desperate. But you do what you have to do to get by. This is the best I can come up with until said guy and I figure out that monogamy is only cool when your sixty. And even then? For now it is just a simple foot massage. I've got the whole outer body before I need to even think about the internal massages. And as long as he keeps providing those, well, the east coast isn't so bad.