In keeping with tradition

(Original Post: June 4, 2006 - Sunday)

We had a party last night. A BBQ. Although I'm not even sure how to work that thing, and we always rope some poor sap into doing it for us. And it's usually whoever arrives first.
We told people to arrive at 5 so of course most showed up at a convenient 8:15. Which was fine. But by that time I had already eaten chicken, stuffing, rice, cereal, ice cream, whipped cream, chips, dip, pizza rolls, chicken on a stick, cake, fruit (cause I'm on a diet), and drinkies which included, but were not limited to, red bull and vodka and madori sours. Oh yeah, I'm going to need some kind of operation.
Needless to say, (and yet I will still verbalize it) My stomach had something growing inside it. All the fruit did was ferment all the other bull shit in my belly. Creating a rotting blob of (and I'll use the technical term here) Fat! I ended up feeling like shit and failing at my job to be the life of the party.
I will say this. There is a good 200 bucks worth of beer and liquor here. We should have a yard sale. I do believe that is the one thing no motorist would be able to pass up. It's exactly what you need on a squelching hot day. And it may possibly prevent some road rage. If someone cuts you off in traffic, just hang your drink out the window and yell, THIS VODKA AND REDBULL JUST SAVED YOUR LIFE ASSHOLE! And then continue to proceed with caution.
As much as people think I drink, and I will remind you that my picture shows me posing with a diet Pepsi, my roommate and I don't really drink that much. All this left over beer would never happen if we were, drinkers. When I go to other parties someone always has to make a 'beer run.'
No one has to do that at our parties. And yet the police still get called because we look like we are having friends, and that is against the law apparently.
On our deck right now we have 2 categories of beer. The fresh stuff that we acquired last night, and the 2 cases of old stuff that we had to take out of the cooler from last year's party to make room for the fresh stuff. So if you don't want this alcohol to die that same death, come here and pick up a six pack. Or simply invite us somewhere and we will bring the hangover.