So obviously fucked.

(Original Post: August 23, 2006 - Wednesday)

It's Wednesday. Why is Wednesday so significant? Well, in two days from today I will be in Cancun Mexico with my buddy ol' pal, My friend. I already have a game plan and a phone chain in case someone beautifulladynaps me while I'm there.
Last year I had plans to go to Mexico, but as some of you may remember, I ended up having to cancel that trip. Even though to the naked eye, it may have seemed like MY decision to cancel the trip, it was really a decision made for me. You can check out the two Eminem tickets I still have in my kitchen. That was not exactly a decision I made not to attend, but more like an unwillingness on my part to stand up and say, "Hey, I can't build a fucking chariot today because I spent $350 on a pair of concert tickets, and I'm f'n going bitches."
Right now I'm making a decision not to go out to the car and get my suitcase, but rather to sit in front of this glowing monitor and type a little ditty on decisions.
My daughter is attending private school. A decision me and her father made. A decision, which forced me into the decision to extend my time in Maryland until June. I negotiate for orders in October of this year. I would like to be able to make a decision to transfer somewhere that will benefit everyone, but I don't see that happening.
My ex-husband will be in Hawaii most likely. There is no sea duty for me there, so that is not an option I have. My parents and friends want me to go to California. That seems like a good decision. Except the cost of living there is so high. My friend wants me to transfer to Virginia and purchase a house with her. This is a good opportunity financially, but is it what I really want? What the fuck does Virginia have to offer except overpopulation and Sonic burger? I guess affordable living, except that by affordable I basically mean half a million dollars. Go to Japan? Stay in Maryland? I envy those people who actually make plans and follow through.
I've tried to take the guess work out of Decisions. If we are going to breakfast, it's Denny's and I'm getting a meat lovers. If we are going to lunch, TGI Fridays and I'm ordering chicken ceaser salad. If it's dinner and it's Friday, then it's back to Denny's for Clam Chowder. If it's any other day and we go to an Italian place, I'm getting spaghetti, no ifs ands or buts. If we are at a Mexican establishment, I'm going with the fajitas or rolled tacos. Anywhere else, I'm getting plain chicken or a hamburger.
I would say that I have made two food decisions in my life, and that is not to eat seafood or cheese. But I even fuck up those decisions, because I eat clam chowder and grilled cheese. But I don't like blue cheese. But I do like pizza, but not extra cheese pizza. And I will eat nachos, but I will refuse a cheeseburger. And I'll eat cheese puffs and cheese nips, but I will not eat string cheese. However, I was once forced to try some brie and I didn't so much mind that, but if we are traveling to Wisconsin you can count me out for curds.
What I'm saying is ... and I haven't really been saying this until now, but fucking follow me will ya? ... Anyway, what I'm saying is, when do you actually know what you want and finally start making decisions for yourself based on what you want and what you need and what you will gain the most from? When do you stop worrying about what everyone else wants and start getting your life together?
I would tell you, but I haven't yet come to a decision on that. But am of course open to suggestions on what my decision should be.
P.S. Does anyone else see I'm so obviously fucked.