Got Words? Use them!

(Original Post: August 19, 2006 - Saturday)

I keep in touch. That is what I do. When I was 12, my family drove to Wisconsin (sp?) to visit my stepfathers family. He introduced me to his brother's wife's Niece. (Have I lost you?) Anyway, her name was Kay, and me and Kay hit it off right away. Coining catch phrases such as, "You like the zipper too? Gimmie five!" Don't ask. Just know that we spent three days getting to know each other, and the rest of our lives keeping in touch. In fact, the next time I saw her I was 24 and getting fitted for a bridesmaid’s dress to be in her wedding. No shit. Emails, letters and phone calls. That's how we roll.

Kristin for another example. I was on my way out of San Diego. I stopped at a friends house for one final goodbye. Alejandro and Mikey were there. And Alley invited his friend Kristin. They've been best of friends since High School. So there we all were. Me and Kristin hit it out of the park, and have been B of F ever since. In fact, she just flew out here to visit. Myspace, text message and Yahoo Messenger. That's how we roll.

I keep in touch. My roommate is amazed at how good I am at it. I have friends flying in all the time for all over the country. I'm always driving/flying out of town to visit someone. I'm always writing or preparing a package to send to a buddy on deployment or to a friend having a baby. I hate shutting people out of my life.

I'm sure it comes as no surprise then, that the one problem most guys I date have with me, is my "baggage." In that list of people I keep in touch with, ex-lovers are for sure in the mix. I can pick up the phone or send an email to just about any person I've dated in the past 10 years just to see how they are doing and what they are up to. It's not a 'break glass in case of emergency type situation,' it is just how I am and have I've always been.

So guess what the one way to truly annoy me is? Guess what one thing you could do to completely drive me out of my mind. The horrible awful thing that will make me want to drive to your house and key your car ... yep, you guessed it, ignoring me. Or even worse, alerting me to the fact that you are never going to speak to me again. You have taken my 'keep in touch' option out of the game, and that my friend, is the lowest of the lows.

About seven years ago I was writing to a guy I know. We were really good friends and he was a great person to turn to for advice, good humor and conversation. One day he wrote and said, I'm going to grab some lunch and I'll write you when I get back. Till then Seniorita. He never wrote again. It drove me insane for an insane amount of time. Mostly because I didn't know why. Since then he has written, and now, to be honest, I ignore him most of the time. Not to be mean, but just because I had to forget ever meeting him, to forget the pressure I felt to keep in touch with him.

And now, it has happened again. Not with him, but someone else I valued. I have learned, with the help of a few books, that sometimes people are just different. My cousin said, "When I was in Iraq I would have given my life for my friends out there. I loved them. They meant the world to me. Do you know how many of them I talk to now?" How many I asked. "Zero." Then he said, "Do you know how many of my friends from high school and former commands I talk to now?" I'll go out on a limb and say zero, I said. "Gosh Darn right," he said. (Those words have been changed a bit to protect God. He had nothing to do with this situation.)

He said, you just have to learn to accept the fact that not everyone is like you. For some people it is just easier to let it all go. When you don't talk to people from your past, you are never let down and you never let anyone else down.

But I'm let down nonetheless. "Got Words?" Fucking use them. And stop ignoring the world. One day it's going to swallow you whole, and when you call me for help, well, I'll most likely answer and help you, because I'm not a fucking douche wad.