Currently Chasing: A Bail Out

Do you believe in love at first sight? I do; mostly because I’ve experienced it 132 times. At the gym, at the gas station, and even in traffic; I’ve spent most of my life falling in love. Not staying in it, just falling in it.

It’s a faux luv. Very different than real love. And most of us are victims of it.

Let me explain. Faux luv is very tricky. If you are in love but finding it easy to sleep with other people…you are in it. If you are in love, but still looking for the next best thing, you are in it. If you love someone, but only because you want them to keep loving you, you are in it.

It can have some of the same physical symptoms as real love. It can make your stomach hurt. It can keep you up all night. It most definitely keeps taking money out of your bank account. Why? Cause honey…in some way, shape or form, you are always paying for faux love. Real Love doesn’t cost of a thing. Or so the story goes.

Faux luv sneaks up on you. You may not even know you’re in it until someone else reveals an interest in you. There are plenty of people in this world I can’t stand and couldn’t imagine myself being with. But then I hear through the grape vine that they are into me and viola…all of a sudden it is my mission to show plenty of faux luv to keep the genuine stuff coming in.

Most of the love in my life has been faux luv. I can probably count on one hand the amount of times I’ve actually thought I was in real love. The ones who actually linger. No closure. The accounts that have stayed open collecting my interest. Where’s my bailout on these delinquencies? But for the most part it has been faux luv.

6th grade. Alex Sepulveda – Presidential award winner for attendance. Honor roll throughout elementary school. Really big head. Super Nerd. And the first boy I considered myself in love with. He ended up giving his number to my best friend and becoming a stoner in high school. I swore I was going to marry him. Faux luv.

Washington. Dwayne Reed – Tall. Not very smart. Ran up an 11,000 phone bill. Got into a car accident because some chick was giving him a blow job. Marine Corps infantry. Once punched a girl right in the eye and knocked her out cold. I married him. Faux luv.

Diego Garcia. David Renshaw – British police officer for the island. Tall and sexy with an awesome accent. Had muscles in places that I didn’t know existed. Never ate Peanut butter and Jelly sandwiches…I ended up sleeping with his friend when he went home to visit his pregnant fiancé. We were engaged also. Faux luv. On both parts.

Maryland. Jeff Hatter – Fat. Bad Teeth. Super funny. Really nice. Beautiful car. Great job. Kept calling me by another woman’s name. Bought me a TV. Promised to pay off my credit card debt. Would never let me come over to his house because his “dog” was violent. I think he may have been married. Most likely ended up killing his wife and burying her in the basement. Faux luv.

My point is…people keep throwing this love label around. Assigning it to every on the spot Tom, Dick and Mary they run in to. It is desensitizing us to what love really is, and I for one have become totally confused by the concept completely. I’m starting to real hate faux luv.