Currently Chasing: A Way To Forget

I got an Instant Message the other day. All it said was, “do you remember me?”

Now, there was a time when I was on Instant Messenger quite a bit. My boyfriend at the time lived in a different state and it was nice to get online and chat with him. And then once you’re online, well, you chat with other people as well. And I developed quite a motley crew of ‘friends.’ But that was years ago.

When I purchased my Iphone, I downloaded the Instant Messenger APP. Not because I wanted to get online and chat with anyone in particular, but mostly because it was an option and I like options. So when this strange IM pops up with the “do you remember me?” message, my first thought is. Hell fuck no.

You could be the guy who tried to sell me his junky ass elliptical machine. You could be the guy from India who I stopped chatting with because he accused me of being a racist. You could be that same guy from India who began chatting with me under a different name to see if my opinion of him would change if he told me he was white. It didn’t. You could be the guy who offered to send me money through paypal if I would show him my tits. I didn’t.

To be honest, it wouldn’t matter if you were one of those people or none of those people. Odds are I’m not really going to remember you. Or so I thought.

My question back to him was did you used to have a different screen name, because the one he had didn’t look at all familiar. He says, “Yes, Italian 4435.” And in a flash, I REMEMBERED!

Instantly I wrote back. “Is this the guy who can suck his own dick?”

He wrote back. “Yes. I was hoping you’d remember more than that.”

For the record…if you want me to remember something other than you sucking your own dick, then don’t suck your own dick. How could I possibly remember anything other than watching you suck your own dick? Oh except for the fact that he wanted me to point my Webcam at my feet while he did it. Yes, as if sucking his own dick wasn’t freaky enough, he wanted to watch my feet rub together while he did it. And I obliged. Why? Because I wanted to see the freak show! And oh yeah, he’s in the Air Force. And that’s really all I remember.

“Remember the guy who has the power of flight and the longest name in history?”
“You mean the one who can suck his own dick?”
“Yep, that’s him.”

“Remember the guy who saved those children from the burning bus last month?”
“You mean the one who can suck his own dick?”
“Yep, that’s him.”

And that will always be him. And I will always remember.