Question: If you were a dog, what kind would you be?
Answer: Tiger Woods.
Did this whole thing really surprise anyone? I mean, doesn’t everyone know that golfers don’t waste all their best strokes on one hole? Are we really shocked by these sex scandals? We all thought that Tiger wanted for nothing…And he does want for nothing…ish.
Tiger is not a sex addict. He is just a man with money and opportunity. And that is all that separates him from most other men. In every aspect of his life he was a golden boy. Where was his reward? In the end, his ‘reward’ ended up canceling out all of his ‘good intention.’
It’s like going to the gym religiously and finally reaching your goal of having a perfectly fit body. Your reward is more trips to the gym to maintain it. EPIC WIN! You don’t just get to chow down on cookies and forget the gym exists. Not even if the "gym" has changed since you first started going.
So my married friend said, “Well at least now that I’m married, I’m not tempted by other women at every turn.” Oh wait…FUCK.
“Well at least women consider married men unattatracive and off limits.” Oh wait…FUCK.
“Well at least the good guys had a bunch of crazy monkey sex in their 20’s with an insane amount of partners before settling down and getting married.” Oh wait…FUCKING FUCK!
That’s right sweetie. You were in the friend zone then, and you’re in the BEST friend zone now. And you don’t get time off for good behavior. Not once…and definitly not nine times. All you can do now is pray that hot women don’t find you attractive. Pray you don’t get hit on. Pray you become invisible to the female population. Basically, the exact opposite of what you were praying most of your teen and adult life.
“I guess I’ll just sit over here and give my wife’s hot friend dating advice while she tells me what a catch I am. If I wasn’t married I’d be all over you right now girl. PS. You need to find yourself a good man…like me.”
It’s the Neverending Story and we are all hoping not to get swallowed up by “The Nothing.”
Let’s all hope the time comes when we want nothing more than to want nothing more.
Answer: Tiger Woods.
Did this whole thing really surprise anyone? I mean, doesn’t everyone know that golfers don’t waste all their best strokes on one hole? Are we really shocked by these sex scandals? We all thought that Tiger wanted for nothing…And he does want for nothing…ish.
Tiger is not a sex addict. He is just a man with money and opportunity. And that is all that separates him from most other men. In every aspect of his life he was a golden boy. Where was his reward? In the end, his ‘reward’ ended up canceling out all of his ‘good intention.’
It’s like going to the gym religiously and finally reaching your goal of having a perfectly fit body. Your reward is more trips to the gym to maintain it. EPIC WIN! You don’t just get to chow down on cookies and forget the gym exists. Not even if the "gym" has changed since you first started going.
So my married friend said, “Well at least now that I’m married, I’m not tempted by other women at every turn.” Oh wait…FUCK.
“Well at least women consider married men unattatracive and off limits.” Oh wait…FUCK.
“Well at least the good guys had a bunch of crazy monkey sex in their 20’s with an insane amount of partners before settling down and getting married.” Oh wait…FUCKING FUCK!
That’s right sweetie. You were in the friend zone then, and you’re in the BEST friend zone now. And you don’t get time off for good behavior. Not once…and definitly not nine times. All you can do now is pray that hot women don’t find you attractive. Pray you don’t get hit on. Pray you become invisible to the female population. Basically, the exact opposite of what you were praying most of your teen and adult life.
“I guess I’ll just sit over here and give my wife’s hot friend dating advice while she tells me what a catch I am. If I wasn’t married I’d be all over you right now girl. PS. You need to find yourself a good man…like me.”
It’s the Neverending Story and we are all hoping not to get swallowed up by “The Nothing.”
Let’s all hope the time comes when we want nothing more than to want nothing more.
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