Currently Chasing: That Guy

I read something the other day that made a lot of sense to me. Men you are dating don’t care about about men in your past that you were in love with. They don’t even care about men in your past that you were married to. However, they do care about men in your past that you kept around mostly for sexual purposes.

This became very true a few years ago. I was engaged to a very nice guy. An ex boyfriend wrote me out of the blue asking how I was. I told him I was great and I also mentioned that I was about to be married. He quickly texted back.

“Are you happy?”

“Yes, very.”

“Is he better than me?”

“Better at what?”

“You know what I mean.”

“That is seriously all you want to know?”

“Yes.”

And that’s when it hit me. He doesn’t care that he doesn’t have me anymore. He doesn’t even care that I’m in love enough to marry another man. All his ego needs to hear is that I’m settling for some dude who can’t ‘measure’ up. I didn’t bother writing back. I’m sure in his mind my failure to write back meant that in the midst of texting, my love slave swept me off of my feet and into the bedroom where we made insane and film worthy love. Good.

The scenario repeats itself every time I’m with someone new. They don’t care about the guy I was in love with in San Diego. And they don’t care my marriage or why it ended. The only guy they care about is the one I’m imagining while laying next to them. Truth is,all their worry isn’t for nothing. Because that’s the only guy I care about also.