Currently Chasing: A Punch In The Face

This story ends with a punch to the mouth. And this blog ends with the video of it. And trust me, the ends justify the means.

My Bob Evans Boy tells me a story about how a couple of years ago he and his friends were partying at his house. He had a drink spilt all over him and decided to shower off. Now, you know the moment when you are in the shower, and you just know someone is in there with you? Well he got that exact feeling…a little bit of a breeze confirmed his suspicions. So he looked up, like most of us do, waiting for a pitcher of ice water to be dumped on our head. Instead out of his peripheral vision he sees what no man wants to see while he’s showering. A penis. Unless it's his own.

Then he realizes what is happening…his friend is pissing on his leg! Before he can even assess the situation he realizes there is another penis on the other side of him…pissing on his other leg! His friends run out laughing, he showers for an extra 15 minutes, scrubbing his legs like he’s about to put them for sale on ebay…and exits the shower. He forgave, but he didn’t forget.

Recently he is hanging with those same friends. There is also a very good looking girl hanging with them. One of his friends (the bigger of the two) decides he needs to cool off. He heads for the shower. Bob Evans knows this is his chance. He sneaks into the shower, pulls out his cock and begins to pee into the shower.

At this point there are two things you should know. #1. Once he starts peeing, he physically cannot stop. #2. If he laughs while he pees, he’ll shit his pants. Back to the story.

So he’s pissing into the three inch gap between the curtain and the wall. He moves the curtain a little bit and is shocked to see that his friend is lying down in the shower. MASTERBATING! He realizes really quickly that he is in fact pissing on his friends FACE. He tries to cut it off, but (refer to rule 1.) He wants to laugh his ass off but (refer to rule 2.) His friend jumps up and Bob Evans just continues to piss down his leg and then sprays a bit on his back, just for good measure. Then he takes off out of the bathroom.

When he gets back to his other friend and tells him what happened, his friend looks at him deadpan and says, dude, you need to leave.

“No, no, no. Remember two years ago? You guys peed on me. It’s cool.”
“No man, he’s going to be pissed!”
“Now way, it’s cool. Trust me.”

So his friend wraps up in the shower and enters the room in a towel. He locks the door behind him. And says…

“What are we going to do about this?”
“Do about what,” Bob Evans says. “Dude, you guys peed on me two years ago, we are even.”
“Asshole, I pissed on your leg…and you pissed on my back…and with that, we are even. But what are we going to do about the fact that you pissed on my FACE!”
“Do you want to piss on my face?”
“No. I want to punch you in the face.”
“I don’t have dental insurance.”
“I don’t care. Your options are, try to make it out of here past me and that locked door. Or jump out of the second story window. I won’t even chase you. You can just jump out and leave.”
“I’ll break my legs.”
“Well those are your options.”
“Will you wear a glove at least?”
“No.”
“Can I wear a mouth guard?”
“Yes.”
“Okay, I guess I’ll take a punch in the face.”

See Video Below:

What you don't hear is Bob Evans, swollen mouth and all, yell ...
"Dude, that was totally worth pissing in your face."

And with that...I think I need a shower. Minus the Golden.