Currently Chasing: An End to the Impulse

I’m impulsive. I’ve always been that way. The first time someone told me I’d look good as a blonde; I went out that night and had a salon dye my hair. It turned our bright yellow. But that’s what I get for not planning.

My old car had a headlight out. I didn’t want to get it fixed. So one day I just decided to trade it in and get a new car, simple as that. No research, no planning, just drove on the lot and traded vehicles.

Even my marriage was impulsive. Engaged on the 13^th of September and married by the 16^th. Three-day engagement seems pretty standard right?

I look around my house and just know that there are hundreds and hundreds of dollars of impulse lying around. My jewelry box should be called an impulse box. I have pictures that I paid half a thousand dollars to have done that are still sitting, unframed, on some shelf. I have a treasure chest full of adult goodies, and I've never even used that glass one. It scares me! Impulsive! The ironing board must have been an impulse-buy as well because lord knows I’ve never used that thing.

I have an entire storage area just for pampered chef cooking utensils that I’ve never even opened. Oh and my friend has three more of those useless purchases in her car, just waiting to make their way to my storage closet.

I wanted an iphone, and even though I knew it was going to cost me an arm and a leg, I just cut those puppies off and handed them over.

I went to Buffalo, met a group of family members I never knew existed, fell in love with them in half a day, and booked a ticket to go back the following weekend using said Iphone.

Went back to Buffalo to see said family. Had a little bit too much to drink. Thought matching tattoos sounded like a great idea…drove to the parlor thirty minutes before it closed. Let some guy who calls himself baldy tattoo a symbol I can only hope stands for sisters on (wait for it) … the back of my neck! Impulse.

The problem with this is that I don’t know what’s in my life because I actually want it to be (I have a shamrock tattoo on my ankle??) and what is in my life because it satisfied some quick fancy. Most of the things I do on impulse I end up severely regretting. Take my Thrift Savings Plan for example. I had been saving money for about 11 years. Then all of a sudden I impulsively took the money out of the plan. It cost me a good amount just to withdraw the money, but I didn’t care.

Then I took the money and started impulse buying. I bought new furniture (granted I needed that due to the fact that my boyfriend decided to fuck his ex over lunch (impulse much) so we had to get out of each other’s presence pronto). I bought a year subscription to bag, borrow and steal…a purse rental company…can anyone say NEED NOT WANT. I bought my daughter a bunch of random shit that spoiled her and that she ended up losing anyway. I paid the lease up on said car that I impulsively bought earlier in this blog and then drove home with basically the same car except I was paying more for it. (Can we say NO NEGOTIATING SKILLS?!)

I bought I bought…impulse, impulse. And then, tax time came around. And they counted that savings that I withdrew as INCOME. Holy hell. I ended up owing the government money for the first time in my extremely young (and extremely gorgeous) life.

I’m most impulsive about my hair. Hair today, gone tomorrow. Red, blonde, brown. Maybe all three. I’ve been there. Stripes, streaks, perms, straighteners I’ve done it. Spikes, faux hawk, swirlies, I’ve done it. My hair is at the mercy of my impulse. Most of you haven’t seen me recently, but my hair is dark…with highlights and it’s shorter than it’s been since my stint on the softball team.

What I’m saying is for now on, I’m going to think. If I want a new car, I’m going to do some research. If I want to date a boy, I’m going to get to know him. If I’m thinking of taking a vacation, I’m going to plan. If I want to lose my virginity I'm going to spend some time assessing the pros and cons. (shit, may be a little late for that.) Whatever, the problem is, I made this decision to start maturing impulsively. And we all agree that's not a good idea, so I'll rethink it. In the meantime, the AC in my car is broken. One quick trip to Carmax won’t kill me.