Currently Chasing: My Sanity

I’ve been paying close attention to relationship status lately. Mostly because I never know what the fuck mine is. A friend of mine posted on Facebook that he was in a relationship with his girl, which is fine. But he posted it each night for three consecutive nights. Way to go boy! You post that relationship status, and you remind us good and often that you are still in it.

Just as often I see a status change and it reads: so and so is now…SINGLE, which of course prompts a million comments. "What happened? Are you ok? Fuck that dude he’s an asshole."

My favorite status is the” it’s complicated” status. That seems to be too much information for me. Yeah, I’m in a relationship, but it’s fucked. Usually, "It's complicated" is code for "you wouldn't understand" which itself is code for "you would understand because I'm not really as complex a person as I think I am, but I don't want you judging me."

I tell my sailor friends all the time. If you want to sail a ship that won’t sink, then stay off the relation ship. Cause that thing sinks faster than the Titanic. And trust me, no one is giving you their make-shift, wooden life raft! So you can forget that shit!

My status simply says single. But for those who know me, I need to be committed, both to a man and honestly, an institution.

So I talk to a friend of mine, who up to this point, I thought had it together … this is what I get …

He tells me that he was thinking about getting a divorce from his wife. In the same breath he tells me that he was thinking about going back to his ex girlfriend. In the same breath (possibly his dying one) he tells me that he shouldn’t go back to his ex because she’s some bitch who cheated on him.

So over the weekend he ended up having it out with both of them. He told his wife it wasn’t working and that they weren’t happy. She told him she would change. He asked her what she would change into. And maybe she said a unicorn or some shit. Whatever would make him happy basically …

So he left the house to clear his mind and went, where else…over to the ex’s house. His ex then pleads her case. She said, maybe this is our time now. We can work it out. He said, we broke up because we weren’t happy. She told him she would change. He asked her what she would change into. Because if all she’s going to turn into is a cheating wife, well, that's not worth half of his shit when they eventually divorce. In the end he told his wife they would work it out, and he told his ex they would work it out also.

What should his relationship status be? NFC. (No Fucking Clue.) or BFI (Big Fucking Idiot.) Update that shit STAT!

With all the drama going on in this guy’s life you can see clearly why … I’m falling for him.

Status update: BFI w/ NFC.

It's complicated.