Currently Chasing: The rest of the Story

So I've mentioned the Brit a couple of times and now have gotten a request for the rest of the story. I'll fill you in. Said Brit and I went on a few dates. His last name is Johnson, which results in the nickname Johnno. If your name is Jackson, it's Jacko. If your name is Renshaw, it's Renny. If your name has is McDonald, it's Mac...and the list goes on. Everyone has a nickname. So I say, should I call you Johnno? And he says, people at work call me Johnno..my friends call me Matt. Matt it is then. (Although I did have reservations about labeling myself a friend so quickly.)

Some things you should know about Matt. He thinks I have amazing legs (although I'm not sure of his baseline for this) he's thinner than me and he's 24. I've caught the eye of a few guys out here...they have all been thinner than me. and 24. WTF? So we go get a smoothie and he forgets his wallet, so I pay..and I notice a name tattooed across his arm as he pulls his shirt up. So later when he tells me he has a daughter I feel relieved because...otherwise, who is this girl he has his arm named after. So I say, let me guess ... Phoebe? And he says, yes, you are very observant. Then I say, I thought that was maybe an ex girlfriend or wife's name...and he says, no, that's further up my arm near my shoulder. Perfect.

But let me tell you this...he's funny and he makes me laugh. But he also lives in Britain and his hobbies include cage fighting and we just don't have much in common. Except that we are both looking for distractions from the obvious. The obvious being Afghanistan and the assholes that live here and insist on killing us.

I met Matt when he checked my ID so that I could enter a compound on base. But I found out he was only doing that job because he got into trouble for missing a meeting. His regular job is providing security for VIPs on base. He escorts them outside the wire. Of course he does. Every guy you meet here is carrying a weapon and bragging that he has a job that requires him to do really dangerous things he can't dare talk about.

That is just like the time I chatted with a guy online. The conversation went something like this:

Me: What do you do?
Him: I'm a firefighter.
Me: What do you look like?
Him: I'm tall and I have blond hair and blue eyes.
Me: Of course you do you fucking liar.
Him: No really, I'm gorgeous and single and I SAVE LIVES.

He didn't bother to mention that even though he wasn't married, he did have a live in girlfriend and yes he was tall, but also about 84 pounds overweight, and he did have blue eyes, but he also had yellow teeth, and I don't even know if he was really a firefighter or if he just liked to spray shit with a hose.

So, who knows if Johnno (if that really is his name) is outside the wire right now getting shot at and risking his life for his country. Or if he's behind some desk somewhere chatting with some stupid girl on messenger about being in Afghanistan and how hard core it is. I will say this though, he's got good teeth.