Currently Chasing: A Bed to Myself

I currently live on a bottom bunk. I haven't had bunk beds since I was a kid living in California. I remember sitting on the top bunk being a smart ass to my step father. I also remember him getting ready to backhand me, me moving out of the way just in time, and him shattering the bedroom light with his hand instaed. I remember thinking..damn dude...that was one hell of an abusive smack you were about to plant on my face. If I had been allowed to use the phone, I might have called child services. For the smack of course, and the fact that there were three kids living in one tiny bedroom.

Little did I realize, those would be the good ol' days. Now I'm living six to a room and I'm once again in a bunk bed. I got a bottom bunk though, because rank has its privledges. Those privledges don't include a closet of my own or the opportunity to dress with the light on, but as it turns out 15 years in the Navy scores you a bottom bunk. Awesome.

I got some new roommates recently, which is perfect. One of them loves to cry. She'll cry all night. Sometimes she'll go to the bathroom and cry. Luckily I live right next to the bathroom so I can still hear it. She'll cry in her sleep. Sometimes she'll stay out late crying at the chapel, and then she'll come home and cry a bit more. It's like one of those silent cries. The kind where you don't really want anyone to know you are crying but you refuse to just blow your nose and instead insist on continuing to reinhale your nose juices at irregular intervals. And when someone tries to be quiet while doing something, I for some reason pay even more attention...trying to catch a few seconds of sleep in between her sniffs.

I also now have a roommate who snores. At least it is at a low, steady pitch. One of those noises that you can kind of drown out as background. But every now and then I cue in on it and there I am trying to time my breathing to hers. And she loves to apolgize. Her alarm went off the other day. Everyone but the crier was already up, but for some reason she continued to apolgize.
"Oh geez, I'm so sorry. Holy shit, is that my alarm? Wow, I thought I turned it off. Man, I'm sorry. Seriously you guys, I thought I turned it off. How long was it going off? I'm sorry. How does this thing work anyway? I thought I had it set properly and then here it is just going off and waking up God and country. Wow, I don't know what went on there."
If the alarm didn't wake us, her war and peace apology speech sure would have.

Next door to me is a grandmother. I know this because every single night without fail she calls her grandchildren. For a while it was just one nightly phone call. And I would patiently wait for it to finish, all the while sighing under my breath and making sucking noises with my mouth (not like she could hear any of this) and sometimes whispering to my roommates about how rude this woman was. So one night in particular her conversation dragged on a little longer than normal, but finally, around 10:30 we heard her say goodnight. We unfurrowed our eyebrows and decided to get to some sleep...when all of a sudden we hear.
"Hey baby, it's grandma."

Holy shit, did this woman just sprout another grandchild? It's usually one call a night...who the hell was this second grandkid? One of my roommates had had enough and decided to bang against the wall. We heard her say something, get up...walk to her door and continue her conversation in the hallway...where we could of course still hear every single word she said. Just cause you can't hear doesn't mean everyone else is deaf as well.

Thankfully there is a roommate I totally adore and she is what keeps me sane. Although there are times when I'm watching a scary movie about a little girl who happens to be a vampire, and all the lights are out and she decides to move around on the top bunk, not meaning to, but nevertheless shaking the bottom bunk - making me think I'm being attacked ... this feeling made stronger by the subtle roar from one side of the room and the silent cries from the other -

And don't even get me started on the girl who 'cleans out her throat' in the bathroom each morning. I swear the sound of her drinking a bit of water and then violently hacking it up is down right nauseating. It's possible that sometimes the crying I hear at night, is my own.