Currently Chasing: An Oven big enough to hold my honesty pies

I've noticed a problem with writing this blog. It's public. People used to ask all the time, don't you feel crazy about putting some of your personal business out to whoever feels like clicking on this page? The answer was always a clear and easy, no. There were people in my life who would ask not to blogged about, there were people who didn't mind as long as they were given a code name, and there were people who were just as open about their lives and the goings on of it all as me.

But something has happened recently that is causing a bit of a rethink on my part, and I'm nervous. All of a sudden people who I didn't think were reading my blog, are, in fact, reading my blog. Even if they aren't personally logging on and looking at the words for themselves, they are being briefed on its contents. So conversations that normally go like this:

Random Person: hey, how was Afghanistan? Did you meet any amazing people or do anything noteworthy?

Me: Um, sure, I met some of the local population, took some great photos and remained absolutely professional the entire time.

Random Person: well, that is incredible, I'm sure you are better off the experience, welcome home awesome servant to our country.

Now go something like this:

Random Person: Hey, how was Afghanistan? Did you meet any amazing people or do anything noteworthy?

Me: Um, sure, I met some of the local population, took some great photos and remained absolutely professional the entire time.

Random Person: Hmmm, I didn't realize Canadians were members of the local population. And also, I read your blog on the type of 'photos' you've been taking and receiving. And what's going on with that guy who is in love with you? Are you going to see him again? Nevermind! Don't spoil the ending..I'll read about it later.

And so wow. There it was. I do try to explain to people that I take certain liberties with this blog, and often embelish things for the sake of entertainment, and that things aren't always exactly what they appear to be. But for the most part...the blog has become a place where I can accurately convey my feelings on most things. And it's not on a time delay. It's how I feel about whatever, right now.

And now it has become something else as well. A lie detector. One of two things are going to have to happen in my life. Either I start getting less honest in my blog, or I begin getting more honest in my real life.

It used to be a joke with me and the friend of mine who helped me create my blog. I would say, "I can't write about that!" And he would say, "Yes you can! That's what makes the blog great!" and I would rationalize it all in my head with one simple realization. "The person I about to blog about doesn't read my blog anyway, so it doesn't matter." And on with the detrimental-to-someone's-self-esteem blog I'd go. That bit me in the ass once with some guy I met at the gym who was some kind of computer genius who hacked into my facebook profile, got my blog address, and began reading. One of the first entries he read was about a guy from the gym who wouldn't stop being a creepy stalker. And the crazy part is, he commented on the blog to let me know he read it, and it didn't phase him one bit. He was still a creepy stalker, only now on a whole new level. Especially since his apperance in my blog made him feel more relevant in my life.

Now I'll say, I can't blog about that, he/she reads my blog. And my good friend will say, hmmm, fine, just wait a month or two and then blog about the story as a flashback. But whether I blog it now or in a month from now, people are going to know when it's them you are talking about. And others (who know you in real life) are going to be able to put two and two together and figure out who you are talking about...and that kind of defeats the purpose of a blog I can use to vent about things I wouldn't actually say to those people.

So I've made my decision. I like my blog. I'm going to keep writing it. And I'm going to remain true in what I write here...which means I better get busy baking those honesty pies ... and people who know me, know I dno't know how to bake, so these things may not taste as great as they look. But don't worry, you can always wash it down with a Chaser.