Currently Chasing: My old car

So I took my car to the shop two weeks ago for an A-2 inspection. I don’t know what an A-2 inspection is. All I know is “due for A-2 inspection” popped up on my screen. So I put it off for a couple of weeks and then finally made an appointment.

All of this stuff is bullshit to me really. I don’t like taking my car in. I don’t like hoping I don’t get ripped off. And I don’t like having to put gas in a rental car while I’m waiting for mine to get fucked up by some people doing an alphabet check that I probably don’t even need.

Mercedes does have a waiting room with free cookies, soda, coffee, hot cocoa; protein bars and chips…so maybe if I stand there and eat for 24 years it will equal the price of an oil change.

So $294 of work later I am handing over my credit card. When I see my agent on the way out…(yes, Mercedes assigns you a maintenance agent) he stopped me and told me I needed to make an appointment for a tire balance and transmission something or other. I said, ok, whatever…and he put me on the schedule. So I take my car in yesterday and get this transmission whatever thing and a tire balance. (Not like I felt like I needed a tire balance? Did I? Nothing was shaking? Could it be because I hit curbs so often? Which by the way they said they could sand down my rims and make them look good as new for $124. PER TIRE. And there is the rub.)

So I get a rental and drive away. Five or so hours later they are ready for me to pick up my car. And the cost of this transmission whatever and tire balance? $602! So in two weeks I have spent about $900 in maintenance fees.

When I was 20 I owned some type of boxy Mazda. It was a shiny khaki color, but it was god awful. I had been in a couple of accidents with it and the front right headlight was being held on by a wire hanger. I didn’t know what an oil change was back then, so I never got one. I would just keep putting new oil on top of old oil. I did this for three years. The car also had like, 157,000 miles on it. The most expensive thing in that car was the stereo, which I had put in, and which cost me $300. The tires on that car were always popping. Probably had something to do with the fact that I would get them replaced with used (mostly bald) tires. But what do you expect? I knew nothing about cars. I sold that car for $300. The price of my stereo.

All these years later I buy a top of the line luxury car and I’m paying a grand in a one month period for some sort of crazy bullshit. Not to mention the car only has a little over 30K miles on it!!! I asked how many times I was going to have to do this transmission thing, and the guy says…once.

Once? In my life? Once a year? Once a month? WTF does once mean? And also, if it is just once…who makes the call that it is right now? That just seems so random. Like, how many times do I have to make sure there isn’t a unicorn shitting in my filters? Once.

I’ve told the BF that I am never going to have another thing done on my car unless he’s there…cause I’m sick of getting screwed over and told I need all kinds of dumb shit, when most likely, I don’t. And as far as sanding my tires down…a few more curves, and I’ll have that all done on my own. FREE.

And I have plenty of wire hangers.