Always a Bridesmaid

I have been a Bridesmaid five times. The first time I was 15 and the last time I was 37. I love weddings. I love the song choices, the vows, the colors, the flowers, THE CAKE. I love it all. I love having a front row seat to someone’s big moment.

Being a Bridesmaid is a great honor, the thing is, even though I’ve been married twice, I’ve never been the Bride. I’ve never been the girl in the white dress holding a bouquet and exchanging vows. Instead I’ve been the chubby girl in a tight skirt exchanging rings and a courthouse and an eight-month pregnant girl in a moo-moo swapping rings in front of some roses with a justice of the peace who was trying to make it home before Judge Judy. When you are on your way to your wedding, and you have to make a pit stop to pick up your ID because it is one of the requirements of the day, you know it’s not a wedding. When your brother is the only person in attendance and he’s snapping photos on a disposable camera, you know it’s not a wedding. And when you celebrate with a dinner at Olive Garden, well, you get my point.

I’ve been witness to some of the best weddings. They’ve taken place in a church, by the lake, and in a private resort. I’ve seen rice thrown and bubbles blown. The last wedding I stood up for literally ended with a full firework show! I’ve worn blue, black, coral, purple and MORE purple. When is it my turn to wear a dress I pick out? When is it my turn to make my friends dress in my favorite color and hate my style choice? And why am I so obsessed with it?

 

 

I know that the marriage is not the wedding. Most people spend so much time preparing the wedding, that once it’s over and all that’s left is the marriage, well, it’s like a movie that started out really great and then all of a sudden credits are rolling and you somehow missed the amazing conclusion. So I would not let my wedding get bigger than my relationship. In my younger years I had grandiose ideas about released doves and horse-drawn carriages. My tastes and needs have changed, but a few things still remain the same. I want to have people standing up for me. I want to have people I love around me. I want everyone making a big deal about my hair and makeup. I want the tears. I want the special song. And I want it to last my whole life long. And that’s the hard part right? I heard something at the last wedding I attended that really stuck with me.

During an exchanging of personal vows the groom said: “This is just one of many more amazing moments to come.”

 

Maybe that’s the key. I heard a saying once and it made a lot of sense. Don’t use all your best strokes on one hole. It’s a golf term, and also possibly a term for male sluts, but that is beside the point. Don’t use all your best ideas on just one day. Sprinkle that stuff throughout the years. Include your friends in more things. Display a little public affection. Hold hands. Exchange vows. Dance to a really great song. Why are all of the amazing moves reserved for just one day? We can all be brides every single day.

Until then I’m perfectly content standing just off to the left. However, I’ve caught the bouquet twice this year. So I’m thinking the wedding gods are finally ready to put me front and center.