I'm getting married

(Original Post: January 28, 2006 - Saturday)

I have made a decision. I'm getting married! I'm not sure when, or to whom, but I am going to have a big wedding. I'm already saving up for it. All my besties will be my bridesmaids. I already have the perfect special gift in mind for each of them.
Me and my fiancé are going to get married outside. I don't know where exactly, but it's going to include an awesome view and a hill top. Possibly a white horse. My good friend Mary is going to plan it for me. She is the best event planner I know. She made a chuck-e-cheese birthday party into the event of the year. Everyone who was anyone was there. Brad and Angelina showed up. No joke. It was in all the papers.
I am going to wear an off-white wedding dress. I'm probably going to go out within the next month and try on some dresses. Just to get an idea of how much weight I should lose to really look fab. You know off-white adds like 20 pounds to any body.
My daughter is going to be the cutest flower girl ever. Maybe I'll have her sing dontcha by the pussy cat dolls, at the reception. Mary, write that down. My wedding invitations are going to be spectacular. You are judged by your invites. Maybe you didn't know that, but you are. I want my invites to scream, fuck you, I'm getting married and I'm fabulous, and um, fuck you.
A good friend of mine from California had doves released into a lake when she said I do. She was also carried to the aisle by a horse-drawn carriage. And her first dance was professionally choreographed. So I don't want any of that bullshit, because then I'd be a copycat. Instead I'll release fluffy bunny rabbits and everyone can catch one and take them home for gifts.
Oh goodness, I can't wait. We are going to honeymoon in Antarctica or Alaska. Somewhere super cold. Some place where we don't feel guilty just staying in the whole week and playing hide -n- seek. Like, hey, come find me, I'm under the comforter! Besides, I've noticed that people who reside in really cold climates stay married longer. Because it's too fucking cold to go out and meet other people.
And he's going to say I'm beautiful, not just hot. And he's going to hold my hand in front of his friends. And when I walk into a room he's going to turn to his buddy and say, that's her. Till death do us part.