Nothing Accomplished

(Original Post: September 10, 2005 - Saturday)
I'm going to take you through my day Tarantino style. I'm going to tell you how it ends, and then take you to that point. Ready? It ends with, 'CAN I GET A FUCKING BOWL
'Alright, from the beginning. I woke up at 8:30 a.m. ready for a big day. So much to do, and I was ready.I needed to go to the bank and get 150 uncirculated $1 bills in sequential order, 28 Susan B. Anthony dollars, 4 uncirculated $10 bills, 2 $2 bills, lunch, materials to build a chariot, and last but not least, I needed to return my cable box. I mean come on...typical day right?got out of the house around 10:30.
To the bank first...no bills, no nothing. Second bank, no bills, no nothing. Third bank, 13 Susan b. Anthony dollars. Oh fucking Joy!Fourth bank, no nothing. Fifth bank, 15 more Susan b. Anthony dollars. So that project is complete. The bank lady (is that PC?) tells me to try the grocery store. They have 50 of the 150 dollars I need, but if I get them the other hundred won't be in sequential order. no can do.
Second grocery store...nothing. Third grocery store....nothing. I decide, I need to eat. We got to Rocky Run...great food. After lunch I want ice cream. But we decide to go to the cable company to return the cable box that has been in my car for a month, and has been collecting dust in my house for six months. We get there at 1 p.m. on the dot. Just in time to see the guy locking the door. He tells me I can't come in. I'm Ticked. Wicked fucking ticked. If you knew the story behind me and this fucking cable box you'd know that returning it has been hard enough without the added, in your face, fuck you that comes with getting to the building in time to see some asshole locking up.
He looks at me and I mouth...plllllleeeeeaaaase. He says, quite simply, NO. Finishes locking the door and doesn't look at me again. I'm pissed. I drive in silence for awhile. Figure fuck it, I'll start looking for shit for the chariot. No luck. Nothing...who fucking builds chariots anyway? I'm torn. I go to a thrift store, a dollar store, big lots, and Wal-Mart before giving up and heading for home.
I stop one final time at food lion because I want some fucking ice cream. And possibly to get that money...again, no money, but I get my ice cream. I get up to pay and the woman in front of me has a million coupons and no idea how a fucking credit card machine works. I feel like slapping her every time she says, I'm sorry this is taking me so long, and giggles. It's finally my turn and the woman scans my ice cream and asks if I have a food lion card. I say no, and she looks at me like I committed a crime. I finally get in the house with my fucking low carb ice cream and say...CAN I GET A FUCKING BOWL.
After the ice cream I felt a bit better. Still nothing accomplished...but what the fuck is new.