Currently chasing: Monogamy, or something like it.

So the other day I’m listening to the radio. They are talking about Steve McNair (may he RIP.) They are bringing up all the great things he’s done in the world. He was basically what they referred to as, the nicest guy in the NFL. But he was also a cheater. Which led to the question, if you are basically a saint in every other regard, does cheating on your significant other make you a douche bag no matter what?

After 32 years of dealing with both sides of the spectrum, I have this to say. No. Cheating does not make you a horrible person. It makes you human. We are not penguins. We may get into relationships, but we do not mate for life. We love and we sacrifice and we encourage and we cheat. We cheat on tests, we cheat on diets, we cheat on taxes and we cheat on lovers. It’s what we do.

Now I’m not saying I wouldn’t love to live in a world where you meet that person and they satisfy every need you have and consistently keep you wrapped in a warm blanket of chick flick kinda love. Of course I do! I want to be loved Notebook style. No doubt. I have the best of intentions for myself and my lover.

I try to believe him when he says he texting his friend about work. I try to believe his phone is just dead and not turned off. I give the benefit of the doubt when he smells like a walking vagina. (it’s a new cologne…of course it is.) But in the end guess what?? He doesn’t just smell like a walking Vagina, he is a walking vagina. And guess what else, if he looks in your purse, he’ll probably find someone else’s dick. Because that’s the way it goes. Everyone cheats.

And most people aren’t just cheaters…they are also horrible people in general, who don’t give to charity and don’t support causes and don’t even tip well.

So the moral (if you can even call it that) to this story is, sure, try to be the best person you can be to your spouse or significant other, but don’t be a total douche in every regard but expect to get into heaven because you kept it in your pants. Chances are no one else wanted to sleep with you anyway.