Currently Chasing: A Bullshit Flag

So I've been reading a book called "How to Meet a Fabulous Man." I've made it to page three and I'm already calling bullshit.

First of all, chapter one is titled, How to Meet your Man. It starts off by saying "always look as GOOD as you can as OFTEN as you can. Really? That's your fucking advice? Do you think I walk around looking as horrible as I can as often as possible? Or as good as I can as seldom as possible? No bitch! I'm already looking as GOOD as I can as OFTEN as possible.

It goes on to say that I should never take a potential relationship for granted regardless of where I am. at the gas station, in the mall or at the gym. You can meet you potential husband anywhere. And then it gives m some fucking lame example of how some girl used to jog the same trail every day, but one day she up on lip gloss and BAM. The man of her dreams stopped her mid run and dropped down to his knees in a Gosh Darn love coma and fucking proposed to her sweaty ass.

I run in full done makeup and hair and that shit gets me nothing but a mixture of hairspray and foundation in my mouth, with a side order of running mascara.

But the real reason I don't think I should one more page of this book is because I've met all these men. The one at the gas station, the one at the mall and yes, even the one at the fucking gym. they weren't marriage material. They weren't even scrap material. The only thing they are material for is my damn blog.

The next three blogs are dedicated to you lady who wrote this stupid book. America's top matchmaker my ass. Where is your VH1 reality show?