Currently Chasing: An End to The Ex

I got a phone call the other day. I wasn’t sure of the number, so I let it go to voicemail. Turns out it was an ex boyfriend calling to find out how I was doing. I added him to my phone and quickly sent a text.

“I’m fine. Sorry I didn’t answer. New phone. Lost some numbers.”

He wrote back.

“No problem. Saw on facebook that you are single. True?”

And then I realized what was happening. We were getting back in touch.

There are really only two reasons you find yourself keeping in touch with an ex. Either you want to have sex with them again, or they want to have sex with you again. The simple fact is, if neither of you wants anything to do with the other, and there are no children involved…well adios. But if there are no children involved and you are still exchanging text messages, face book messages or instant messages ...there is only one explanation. Someone wants to make, yet another, bad decision.

Now, I have plenty of ex’s who I have no problem deleting from my phone and my life. (I wrote about one recently.) I say my goodbyes and I FINALLY move on. If they contact me, it’s because they hope we can have sex again. If I don’t delete them from my phone, it’s because I hope we can have sex again. It has nothing to do with just wanting to remain friends with someone who knows me well. I have cousins for that.

And once you contact me again, I may go ahead and add you back into my phone. Not because I ever plan on sleeping with you again, but mostly because now I like that I can call on you for a compliment when I’m feeling fat, lonely or (insert other self loathing word here.)

Now you are who I will call when I’ve just been dumped by so and so. And I’m not calling you because I want to sleep with you again, but because you will tell me exactly what I want and need to hear to rebuild my self esteem. And why will you tell me these glorious, incredible things? Because you want to sleep with me. Trust me, it’s most likely not going to happen.

So I'm saying there’s a chance!

Truth is I probably really don’t want much to do with you. But when you write and tell me you’re still in love, I’ll love how that makes me feel. And it will give me the strength to go out there and love someone else.

So the next time you consider contacting that ex, even if it’s just to ask how they are, ask yourself, are they going to recognize the number when it pops up on their phone. And don’t buy the new phone excuse. Truth is, if you’re important, they won’t lose you in the transition.