What is this obsession with threesomes? When I was younger I met a guy that I liked a lot. He asked after a month of dating if I’d be interested in a threesome. I said if we do something like that we will never be able to be a couple. It will ruin and change everything. He said he was willing to take the chance.
And that way of thinking has been a theme for most men I date. They meet one of my female friends and right away the jokes begin, which are niether cute nor subtle.
“Have you seen her naked?”
“Have you two kissed?”
“Sure I’ll take the garbage out if you invite so and so over for a sleepover.”
“Game night? How about truth or dare?”
Geezus H? Really?
This is not Facebook people, and you do not get to add a friend!
I’ve seen videos…I’ve read books, I know what happens with these types of scenarios. Someone is always left out. And you know what else…when there are two girls, one of the girls is always just a little bit prettier and/or skinnier than the other girl. What do you think that does for the EGO!?
“Oh look, there is my man cheating on me. Literally fucking cheating right on top of me! That girl is obviously doing a good job of turning him on, only she looks nothing like me. Man, her stomach isn’t sticking out even a little. Dude, her boobs are perfect. Her hair is sticking to her sweaty back. Mine doesn’t do that. FUCK, HE PROBABLY HATES ME.”
And there you go. Unless you want to drive your girl totally bat crazy, leave the threesomes to the pros. Who do you think you are anyway? You last 37 seconds with her, and now you’ve got to split that time between two hotties. Why even embarrass yourself? That’s if you are able to perform at all. There may be some anxiety that comes along with being the star of the show. Who needs that kind of pressure?
I mean, multi-tasking in any other situation seems like a waste of your time. But not in this situation; you are all of a sudden a cross-trained pro! But my friends who’ve tried it never really got what they were hoping out of it.
In fact, it kind of just left the door open for infidelity. If she doesn’t mind me cheating while she’s in the room, then she definitely won’t mind if she’s at work, or downstairs wathing TV, or brushing her teeth. You get my point!…A man’s logic is not logical. And if you think you two can casually hook up with someone once or twice and then never do it again…well I have something to show you, It’s my shocked face … Whaaat?!! Because even if he’s not saying it, he’s thinking about it with every single introduction to a new friend.
Wouldn't you rather be a master of one than simply a jack … ASS!?
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You and I both know that the "best" ones are where there is no relationship involved....When it is two friends who come together and ROCK the world of a guy who just thought we was never going to have one, and it end up being AMAZING, not once...but twice. =)
ReplyDeleteYeah, the only way to do a threesome is to be the "guest star." If you're in a relationship and your man suggests that, tell him he should go try a onesome, aka "go fuck yourself."
ReplyDeletelmao @ "let me show you my shocked face" ...
ReplyDeleteSeriously. Those are the guys who have a hard enough time pleasing one woman. WTH do they think they're gonna do with two pissed of women in bed?
ReplyDeleteA good three-way should never leave anyone out. Guys who want two girls just want the attention. They're doing it wrong if they do.
ReplyDeleteUmmmm, perhaps you should suggest that, instead of 1 guy and 2 girls, there should be 1 girl (you) and 2 guys. That way YOU get all the attention. If he doesn't like that, he's not into "experimenting"...he's just a narcissitic man-whore.
ReplyDelete