Currently Being Chased

So I get an email the other day and it says:

So I’ve been keeping up with your blog, and what’s this about you not liking skinny guys. The message came from none other than … Bob Evans. You guys remember him right? He was my waiter turned boy toy?

So I write back and ask how he’s been and tell him it’s just a blog for entertainment purposes … and that he shouldn’t take it personal. He said he didn’t. I told him I’m working on losing some weight. He said, don’t go losing too much, you have to keep your curves.

Then he says something I won’t ever forget.

“By the way, you were already a stateside 10, so now you’re an Afghanistan 20.”

I read that four or five times before I responded.

“Wow, that was a great line!” I wrote back.

He said, “It’s not really a line if 1) I’ve already slept with you and 2) I can’t get it any time soon from you. I think then it falls more into the compliment pile J

And how right he was. It was a great compliment.

And he’s not the only one who has been throwing them my way lately. And I’m not talking about guys here who would compliment a three-legged goat at this point. I’m talking about men back home that I have been friends with for years and who are just starting to realize that maybe there is/was more there than met the eye.  Men who used to come to me for advice about the all the wrong women they were dating and who would give me advice about all the wrong men I was dating.

Now they write emails that suggest that maybe the right woman was there all along. And I don’t know about that … but the thought intrigues me. Could I be the ‘right one’ for someone? It seems that the minute I identify someone as a right anything, or the minute they identify me as such shit gets fucked up. It’s clear I haven’t been ‘right’ in a while. But I haven’t been all wrong either. Because obviously I’ve had enough foresight to keep these ‘maybe’ Mr. Rights as friends.

There is also another very interesting fact about these potential suitors. I’ve never slept with them.  Is that why they still see hope for a future with me? Is that why I still present a challenge? My friend J once married a girl just because he wanted to be the first guy to sleep with her. And guess what? She sucked in bed. And sex hurt. And she complained. And they divorced. And eventually sex became a blast and she was having it with everyone … but him. But she was a challenge … and he chased her all the way to the altar.

But as we all know, I’m the chaser. I’m usually not the chased. I’m usually too busy looking for one to actually be one. But who knows. Maybe in my quest to chase what I feel is impossible to catch, I’m actually running fast enough for someone to be in hot pursuit. Who knew? Maybe one day I should just stop … and turn around. And let this fucking love run full speed into me head on. If he’s still around after the coma, then maybe he was Mr. Right after all. And if not, well, there’s always Bob Evans, he’s young and able, and that boy can catch up to me any day.